smooth life

 

Two days ago, one of my close friends called to convey his Deepavali greetings. During our casual conversation, he suddenly asked me to speak with his son, who was recently married, and handed the phone over to him. After exchanging festival wishes, his son asked me a very personal and unexpected question.

He said, “Uncle, my father often talks about you and your family — how all of you live so harmoniously without any disputes. Is it really possible to maintain such a good relationship within a family? What is the secret behind your smooth family life? Please share some suggestions.”

For a moment, I was taken aback by his question. It made me pause and reflect deeply. Am I truly a good husband? A good father? A good son to my parents? And a good son-in-law to my in-laws?

His words made me realize how important it is to occasionally look inward and evaluate ourselves — not through our own eyes, but through how others perceive our relationships and conduct. It was a simple conversation, yet it left a profound impact on me

Dear Revanth,

Thank you for your kind words and for approaching me as you begin this new chapter of your life. I also thank your father for having such a good opinion of me and my family — it truly means a lot.

After you asked me that question, I spent quite some time thinking about it last night — am I really a good husband? You might feel that I am, but I wanted to honestly reflect on it myself. Before sleeping, I turned to my wife and asked her, “Do you think I am a good husband?” She was surprised — after all, it’s been 27 years of marriage! She simply smiled and went to sleep.

To be honest, I can confidently say that my wife deserves the certificate of being a good wife. She is understanding, intelligent, and smart. She carries half of our family’s responsibilities on her shoulders. She is open-minded, transparent, and practical in every way.

In our relationship, neither of us feels any sense of ego. I never believe that certain tasks belong only to men or only to women. For example, in the morning, I am usually the first to enter the kitchen — I clean the stove, put milk on to boil, and prepare the coffee decoction in the filter. After that, I wake my wife, and once we freshen up, I make the coffee and serve her before having mine.

When it comes to cooking, I help by cutting vegetables, and while she prepares the food, I sweep and clean the house. I then wake up my daughter, give her milk or coffee as she prefers, and put the washed clothes out to dry. After that, I drop my daughter at the college bus stop, and at 7:30, I drop my wife at the railway station for her work.

Whenever my wife is at home, I prefer not to go out alone. If there’s anything urgent, we go together.

Another important aspect of our relationship is trust and transparency. Both of our mobile phones have the same password. We can check each other’s phones anytime — there are no secrets between us. Financially too, we respect each other’s independence. I never ask about her salary or her spending, and she does the same with me. Every month, we both contribute ₹10,000 to a common household fund, and we use that for any home-related expenses.

We work toward common goals and share responsibilities equally. Whenever a misunderstanding arises, we sit together, discuss openly, and make decisions jointly. That helps us minimize friction and strengthen our bond.

Another thing I have learned over the years is to understand and respect each other’s moods. Every month, there are times when emotions can fluctuate — it’s completely natural. During such times, we should be considerate and understanding. When our spouse is in a cheerful mood, enjoy and spend time together wholeheartedly. But when she feels low or upset, it’s better to give her some space, be patient, and console her gently instead of reacting.

Spending quality time as a family also plays a major role in keeping relationships strong. We make it a point to travel together frequently. Over the years, we have covered almost the whole of India — from Jammu & Kashmir and Vaishno Devi to Gangtok, Cherrapunji, Assam, New Delhi, Kolkata, Bhubaneswar, Konark, Mumbai, Kerala, Tamil Nadu, Andhra Pradesh, and Karnataka. Every trip brings us closer and gives us unforgettable memories.

Even during holidays at home, we go for long walks together, talking freely and sharing our thoughts. Once a week, we make sure to treat ourselves — either by visiting a good vegetarian restaurant or by preparing a special meal at home. These small gestures keep the bond fresh, joyful, and filled with love.

I have entrusted my wife with full responsibility for choosing the colors and cost of our clothes and the family's attire. When it comes to food, I personally prefer less spice and enjoy sweets more, while my wife loves spicy flavors and prefers less sweetness.

Despite our different tastes, she always considers my preferences. For example, when she prepares upma, she also makes kesari (a sweet dish) alongside it. She prepares both hot pongal and sweet pongal, especially for me. She makes chutneys both with jaggery and without, catering to our varied tastes. While she prepares the chapati batter, I take care of cooking the chapatis.

I believe these small acts of mutual understanding and consideration are enough to keep our family bond strong. My advice to anyone wanting to build a loving and transparent family is to be patient and love your family wholeheartedly. This approach brings abundant happiness and makes life truly meaningful.

                                   With best wishes

                                                                                                                                            Yours lovingly

                                                                                                    Sathish kumar BV

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